Thursday, 30 August 2012

growing up

and sometimes it's hard. 
 Really hard.

update on the week so far

2 post in one day, can you tell that my computer was down and I have had an enforced break?

So I have lost a total of 8kg since I was first aware that I had turned into a boomba, May-ish, I think it was.  And I have lost 2 kg since signup to the 12WBT.

This is week one, and how has it gone?

Really well.  I have exchanged a few bits and pieces from the menu, and tried some things I wasn't sure of.

I went shopping on Monday, kid free and plenty of time to plan for the week.  I stumbled in to the supermarket meat section to find the butchers with their discount stickers and really cleaned up.

Turkey breast steaks (only 1cal per 1g, really lean)  were 30% off, so I made turkey steaks with ratatouille and spinach salad (+ pasta for man and kids) which was really yummy and a big hit with everyone.

They also had lamb cutlets reduced.  Into the freezer they went, and a tiny happy dance, because they are usually pretty expensive.  Also into the freezer went discounted kanga bangas (man, they are good) and some kangaroo mince.

The kangaroo pie was well received by all, but next time, I think I'd mix the kanga mince 50/50 with beef mince.  The soup was lovely and enjoyed by all that eat soup.
The fish pie was a tick for 2 of 3 kids, and the Nigelator, but curly and I didn't like it.  I don't like fish, but gave it a go because I am brave.  Next time, it'll be more of a ratatouille type fish stew and they'll all love it while I eat lettuce-y stuff. 

Well not really, there are such a lot of options to bang together quite quickly.  I am really impressed with how easy it is to stick to the calorie limit with good meal and snack options.

Now, I need to get of the 'puter and have a chat to my husband but before I go, there's one more thing.

Caramel rice cakes. OMG.  Really.  OMG.  36 calories of OMG-ness.  They are really sweet and yummy and filling.  I realise that they are not going to save the world, but they are worth knowing about. 

till next time, becc

linky thingy

77Noni, a very successful participant in previous rounds of the 12wbt, and blogger  has started a linky thingy.  I don't know about linky things but I liked her idea about blogging about a specific topic and revealing a little more about yourself, in this instance a little more about yourself as it pertains to the 12WBT.  And so I have followed her instructions to link in, and will answer her questions...  there will be another post about me, the non-12wbt beccyb, but for now, here goes with the linky questions.

1. Describe yourself in less than fifty words. What is it you want us to know about you?

I live a life of peaks and troughs.  I have experienced extreme highs and profound lows and I believe that is the signature of who I am.  I am an open book.  I am a loyal person, I love my people and I am optimistic.  I like to laugh and have fun.  I am determined.

2. This program is called a transformation. When you signed up for this round (whether is your ninth round, first round or somewhere in between) what was it about yourself you wanted to transform?

My lifelong attitude to health, exercise and food.  It is time to take responsibility for myself, my weight and my portion control disorder and be a grown up

3. One of the phrases Michelle Bridges says that has struck a chord with me is that we should be striving to be the best version of ourselves. To me that means we don’t have to change ourselves completely in order to have a successful transformation. What is it about yourself you are happy with right now?

I believe I have a level of self-assuredness that has come with age, and challenging times.  I know who I am as a person.  Now it's time to make the external match up with the internal and get my shit together.

4. What aspect of this program do you think will present you with the toughest challenge. What are you going to focus on to ensure you feel successful at the end of the twelve weeks? How is your answer to number 3 going to help you overcome this challenge?

None of it should be tough,  it's not rocket science.  Count and control your cals, exercise more and tada...but my excuses previously are around being busy, nightshift working, and deserving a rest.
Being true to myself is going to keep me on track.  If I am going to have my outside/ inside matchy up situation,  then JFDI

5. What is it you look forward to the most in the next twelve weeks?

Feeling and looking stronger.  I love the strong body, strong mind kinda vibe.  Grrrr

6. You’ve now completed at least three days of the program. What has surprised you the most about how you’ve coped with these first days in the twelve weeks?

Surprised at how I have managed to reduce my caffeine dependence.  I had restricted my tea intake to 5 cups a day,  and now sometimes, I only have 3.  It's a bit of a surprise that I have coped with that.
And the calorie restriction is really not that bad.
AND, I like kangaroo sausages!!!
And I still don't like fish

7. Can you describe what you want to see, think and feel when you look in the mirror on Sunday 18th November 2012.

I will feel proud of where I have been for the preceding 39 years, and I will feel that my body reflects my journey.  I will have proven to myself that in 12 weeks, I'll have achieved a healthy weight and a degree of fitness that I am proud of.  I will smile, knowing that I look great, and I'll be more comfortable in my own skin than ever before.

Woo hoo, can't wait.

Thanks,  77Noni, for the guidance.

Monday, 27 August 2012

Last weekend before the challenge begins

We were off to Melbourne this weekend, a brief visit to have a grown up dinner with the Nigelator for our impending 14yr Wedding Anniversary, and to go to the footy on Sunday afternoon.

Dinner was lovely tapas, not particularly well portion controlled but delicious.  And nice to have a conversation.  The Nigelator is a good man, and I enjoy his company.  He makes me laugh and we are very intellectually compatible.  Sometimes this is on the level of fart jokes, sometimes world issues.  Always up for a debate, less so for feelings.  But so be it.  He's mine, for better or worse, and it's mostly better.

The Nigelator and the boys, 8.5yo pickle and 7yo curly, LOVE footy, and especially their beloved Kangaroos.  I am neither here nor there.   I joke that I am a member of the club for the sake of my marriage.  I have done the hard yards in our BC (before kids) days - making sandwiches, packing thermos' of hot chocolate and sitting watching. Zzzzz. But the blokes love it and so I will support them too. 

This game was the first for the goose, Miss 5.  She was very excited.  There was face painting and she chose a flower face, in blue and white, for the club colours.  Funny girl.

The ride home was exhausting

I do love their snuggly heads.  Probably transferring head lice back and forward.  So be it.

Pickle was fast asleep behind me.  Couldn't turn around to take his photo, but I do love him too.

Here is a photo, from another time, of the pickle in all his gorgeous, big toothed glory.  He is scrumptious.
So that's us,  nice quick weekend away.  And ready to start the first week of the challenge.  Go you good thing.

Thursday, 23 August 2012

Getting ready for week 1

So I am very excited to see that the meal plans and exercise plans and all the bits and pieces have been released on the 12WBT site for week one. 

Round 3 of the 12WBT starts on Monday.  It will be my first round but man, I've been lurking around the edges for such a long time.   I've been looking on the 12WBT facebook page, looking on the 12WBT site  and playing with Michelle's books.

Now that it's all starting, it feels like I've been asked to join in with the cool kids at school. I was never asked to join in with them.  I feel a bit of a fraud.

not me, but this was how much of high school was for me.

I took 5 minutes at work to commit a bit of white collar crime last night - printing out of all the week one stuff at work.  Shhhh, don't tell the government.  The food plan, the food diary, the recipes and some extras to substitute for the fishy things (I don't do fish - an 'all in my head' issue), and the exercise plans.  It was a lot of paper.

And of course with it, came conflict.  Less about the white collar crime and more about responses I have received from others... it all looks fabulous and there were requests to make copies for others. So conflict -
  • I want to make others happy and be a sharer. I grew up as an only child.  I spend a lot of time trying to prove that I can share well with others.
  • I've paid up and have committed. You want it?  Go do it yourself.  And besides that Michelle wants me to be honest and show integrity.  She'd be very disappointed in me
I want happy Michelle

Not disappointed Michelle

So I encouraged my friends to join up.  And I invited them to eat at my house if they wanted to try the food.  Nice weasel words, BeccyB.

And so, out of respect for my love of lists and stationary, I now have a pretty green folder with my Michelle things in it.  And it's all hole punched and smooth. 

I'll be needing dividers I think.  Surely I will. 

Since I have only just arisen from my sleeping beauty slumber of nightshift and rejoined the week of humans, I shall wait until tomorrow morning for weigh and measure for the 'Measure Up', the last of the preseason tasks. 

I will also be taking my before photos.  I have decided not to post them here, but will consider a modified more dignified posting of before and after at the end of the 12 weeks. 

In the meantime, here's some little giggles for you

The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, "If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down." ~Rita Rudner
I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. ~Marsha Doble

There are really only two requirements when it comes to exercise. One is that you do it. The other is that you continue to do it. ~The New Glucose Revolution for Diabetes by Jennie Brand-Miller, Kaye Foster-Powell, Stephen Colagiuri, Alan W. Barclay

Wednesday, 22 August 2012

Pre-Season Task #7 - Fitness Test

I'll be honest.

I did think I was looking forward to this, and then found myself avoiding it.

This week is a work week for me and I was blabbing on to myself...I'll need to wait for the weekend till I'm finished work, I've got a cough and a...well nothing really.  Just didn't really want to.

So this arvo, I got up and got into my gear, picked up miscellaneous children, waited for the Nigelator to get home from golf (incidentally his best golf round EVER, he told me. So he was very accommodating) and out I went.

Miss 5yo, 'the goose', saddled up on her bike and off we went.  I had googled my 1km route and we walked there briskly, and we were careful to be sure I was exactly aware of where my start and end were.

Then home again, to do the rest of it...

The results are...

1km run - 5min 5secs - Intermediate rating

Wall sit - 16secs.  Beginner rating.
 A little disappointing.  Thought I was stronger than that.  Can't really blame the sore thighs from Saturday's DVD work out though, since it's now Wednesday.  It's probably more likely that I am not as strong as I'd like to think I am.  Room for improvement.

Push ups - 1 toes, 32 knees - Intermediate rating.  Surprising. 

Sit and Reach - + 12cm - Advanced.  Always been flexible.  This has been as high as 27cm in the past.  Again, improvement possible.

Sit up - a somewhat half arsed Stage 1 - beginner.  Completely unsurprising.  Coupled with my mangey lower back, an area for loads of improvement.

So overall,  an intermediate I guess.  I am doing the 10 running program but still, it's a benchmark to measure my improvement over time.

I am really excited about the final preseason task being released tomorrow and the first week's info coming out too. 

I feel more ready to embrace the whole package of lifestyle change than ever before.  Previous efforts to apply myself to exercise, or healthy eating have been uncoordinated and quickly burnt out.  I feel all the preseason work has encouraged me to completely examine what's going on with my attitudes to health, food and myself and my place in the world.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to get all evangelical about Michelle, the messiah my new friend, because this stuff is all just common sense and mathematics

Eat less, eat well, exercise for fitness and enjoy balance in your life.

However, I think the program has been structured in such a way as to step you through what's really going on with where you are at in your life. 

And I can see what Michelle means when she said that the people who really work through the preseason tasks are the ones who have the greatest success. 
Not necessarily the ones who lose the most weight, but the ones who stick to it, and who really make and keep the changes to alter their behaviour and attitudes to health and food and their weight.

I can see already, who's who when I look on the forums - some people already looking for excuses.  Others removing or working around the challenges in their way.

I feel so ready to do this and can't wait to get into it.

Thank you too, to my lovely collection of followers. Nice to see you are travelling along with me.

Friday, 17 August 2012

Embracing the change

So here is a little more about me.  This is me and my bloke, the Nigelator.  He's such a good man, and we have been together for almost 20 yrs.  Below is a photo of us at a wedding of a colleague in May.  We shall call this the 'Before' photo because I am 7kg less today than that day -a very jolly 77.6kg I was.  Not any more. 

There is another photo of me at that wedding.  I must have been quite thirsty though, because I look much happier and disinhibited, also much larger.  I might post it at a later date.

On further successful  I made the caramelised pork with sweet potato mash from the forums a few nights ago.  Delish and so filled with guilt-lessness. 

Below is a snap from last night's dinner - I know, I know, you can't tell one from the other.  The one on the right of the picture is my version of Michelle's Crunch Time cookbook lentil shepherds pie (p115).  The dish on the left of my photo is the picture from the book.

I tweaked mine by using the bolognese recipe from the same book, with double the veg/meat ratio, then I buzzed a drained and rinsed tin of lentils with a tin of tomatoes and added to the meat and veg.  Cauliflower topping was the same.   So it worked out to be around 350-400 cal per serve, I suppose.  The crowd went wild.  Except for Miss L, usually the most adventurous eater in our house.  She ate it once she realised everyone else loved it.

To demonstrate that Mum's new food will be fabulous and interesting I also made the Strawberry and passionfruit yoghurt semifreddo from the Crunch Time book (p190).  I used both strawberries and raspberries.  They sunk into the mix a little as I was too impatient to wait for my eggs to be pale and thick.  No matter. 


Thought so.

Today, after two days of bitter cold and heavy rain, I realised that I had another excuse on my hands -
'I can't go for a run, it's too wet and I only have one good pair of running shoes and one set running clothes.'

No you don't, BeccyB.  Solve that problem.  Make Michelle proud. 
If I am doing the running plan, there will be times I need an alternative.  This could also work during my nightshift week, where I sometimes struggle to find time where the kids are supervised  and I can get out to run.  Don't think it's a great plan for them to run with me in the rain.

Off we went, Nigelator off to golf, me and the small folks into the car.  Straight to BigW, shrine to all things Michelle.  Asked the 12yo boy behind the counter.  NO Michelle DVDs.  Seriously?  But this is the land of Michelle.  I know, he squeaks.  Sorry.


So start driving home. Pull over to the side of the road.  Fix that excuse.  Pick up the phone and call call connect( I love them. 12456 and they do all the work).

Hello, JB HIFI?  Do you have Michelle?
NO?  Lots on backorder though. 
Not helping.

Hello, Target?  Do YOU have Michelle?
YES, crunch time 3 disc set.  Will put one aside.

Screaming power u-turn.  And now, all is well in the world. 

If you'll excuse me, Michelle and I have a date.  And then the kids and I are watching Bolt and having popcorn before I nap and start nightshift again tonight.

Saturday night in ED.  Hold on tight.

Thursday, 16 August 2012


As you would know, the main reason for me to stat blogging, now as opposed to any other time was to journal my experiences as I work through the Michelle Bridges 12WBT.

And an unexpected pleasure that I have gained is by connecting with others through our mutual blogging.  I love to read about others on their paths' too and it gives me a real buzz when I see that someone that I feel that I know (through their blog, or in real life) has been reading mine too and has chosen to make a comment.

The blog-osphere is so interesting. I love adding everyone I see on the forums onto my reading list to keep up with new posts and see how everyone is going...already some with weight loss, others facing challenges in their family lives, some facing self doubt, and many enthusiastic about the work they've done in preseason and warm up and ready to go.

And if I like what I read, or someone has said something that appeals to me, I really like to comment, so they know that I am reading and hearing what they have to say.

Many of us are blogging in a journalling type way, treading our own paths to find our own successs.And many of us would never have thought that anyone else would find the things we write to be interesting or relevant.

But I have found the things my team mates are writing about to be straight from the heart. There are people blogging that I really identifying with - we might have a similar age, weight ,family structure, profession or work hours or sense of humour. There are others that I seem to have nothing in common with, but their words as they commence this journey really speak to me.

And I love it. And it helps me to keep going too.

 So if I have a look at your blog, I'll comment, because I'd like you to know you are not alone.
And if you like what I have to say, I'd love you to do the same.

Good luck everyone. And lets use each other, our team mates, to stay on track.

Pre-Season Task #6 - Organise and Diarise

Woo, hello.  My favourite past time is to play diaries. 

I do paper diaries,
I do phone diaries sync-ed with outlook,
I do printed off monthly calenders starting on a Monday (because I do not like calendars that have Sunday at the beginning of the week.  Sorry, don't like it.),
and I have a big ol white board year view calender in the kitchen with 4 colours of white board pens and a chinagraph pencil (ooh, I love them too)

It is possible that I have chronic paralysis by analysis.  My pencils sharp, my desk cleared, my 'jobs' up to date, my children set up with worthy time occupying tasks, my husband occupied with his own stuff.  All set. To start.  Ok start.
But my washing needs sorting, and  I haven't had a look at those organising websites that I like for a while.  Maybe they have suggestions on how I might make my diary look better.  What about Kikki K,  I love them.  Maybe they have the perfect diary option. 
Oh, wait.  I already have that.

JFDI.  Have seen this on the forums a lot.  And being a Gen X kinda gal, took me a little while to work out what it meant.  But I get it now...golly gosh get on with it.  That's what it means.

And I understand.  Diary is great. Write down all the big days that could get me off track.  Factor in some milestones. And commit to exercise by writing it down.  And plan to shop and cook. And allow the 12WBT menu plan to guide you with menu planning.

But you have to DO it, not just plan it.

Put down the highlighter, or the mouse on the 'puter.  No more illuminating with different coloured text.  Write it and then do it. 

So that's it.  All the weeks are on my sync-ed calendars and I have committed to exercise sessions until the challenge starts, and I have done a meal plan for the same period. 

Also, I must commit to restricting my computer time. The biggest time sink of all. So, it will be 30 mins maximum, morning and evening. During that time, I must manage to check the paper, emails, blog, everyone else's blog, forum and respond if necessary.  No more checking email all day long.  Morning and night.  That's it. 

So here are my Mini Milestones.  My friend, Michelle, told me to commit to these too.

Week 4 Milestone - A big old beach walk with my family in Merimbula when we have a camping break.

This is them, minus my hubby of course, after the City2Sea last year.  They are fun and we are looking forward to whale watching and fishing and hanging out.  I will be wearing bathers too.  Adventures abound.

Week 8 Mini Milestone - New running shoes and new sports bras x2.

At the end of week 11, is the city 2 sea and I will also be participating in Relay for Life locally at the end of week 9.

Week 12 Milestone - Commit to booking weekend away with my husband. AND book in a weekend away in February with my bestie and my step-sies as a girly get away for my 40th.  AND buy a fabulous frock.

So that's me for today.   Off to put my sharp pencils and highlighter away.

Monday, 13 August 2012

Pre-Season Task #5 - Kitchen Makeover and DER moments in the kitchen

This was a painless task.  Nothing needed to be thrown out, added some quinoa.  Mostly because I like that word and how it sounds, and people (you know them, people.  The ones with all the right information) say it's healthy.

We live a reasonably clean life here, food wise.  My boomba status is all about my portion-control-ectomy, and overcoming it.  I don't ever recall being a person who says 'No, thanks, I've had enough.'  Ever. 

So the pantry, fridge and freezer are in a pretty good state.  They have been for about 5 years now since we moved away from the big smoke of Melbourne, where I had lived most of my life and moved with our 3 children, then aged 6months, 2 and nearly 4, to Tumut, NSW in the valley of the Snowy Mountains.  What a wonderful time, and a great location.  We really loved it there. 

During that time, we got our hands dirty in our veggie garden and I started making our own bread and jam and stuff.  Making as many things from scratch as I could. 
It was during this time, that my Grandmother said 'you've always been a little bit country' and she meant that this was a lifestyle she could always see me living...3 young children, trying to buck the flow of plastic toys and parent intuitively, cooking naturally and involving myself in community.

Also during this time, our oldest son, N, had an allergic reaction to an unknown substance.  Blood tests were inconclusive and so we went hardcore and eliminated all the food that wasn't basic.  We did the FAILSAFE diet, and were fortunate that a few others in the community were doing it too. It changed the way we looked at food.
We now know that N has an anaphylaxis to both Pecans and Walnuts (proven by an almighty anaphylactic reaction almost a year ago and some follow up testing), and so we have become a little more moderate with our diet but we still observe the clean living, basic philosophies of

make it from scratch if you can
if you don't know the ingredients on the list, maybe you shouldn't eat it
weird numbers on the ingredient list probably do weird things

So that leaves us with a healthy trolley and a healthy plate, but a boomba mummy (and a slightly boomba daddy, truth be told but that's his journey, not mine. I will forge on and maybe he'll come too).
And it is all about portion control.


I was listening to the PST#5 podcast yesterday,

(how I love podcasts, I can multitask. Yesterday it was walking to school to pick up the kids and listening to all the 12WBT PS tasks; today when I ran to the shops for sandwich bread for school.  it was a trauma nursing podcast.  I know, it's a little manic.  We'll talk about my mania another day)

AND my friend Michelle said that in a comparison between the fabulous exerciser and the fabulous eater, the eater will lose weight every time.

Again,  DER.

Why is this so tricky to get into my reasonably intelligent noggin?  

And in a forced choice between wagging exercise and slipping with an extra portion, it is by far the better option to wag the exercise.

However, who forces us to choose?  Rarely is someone dangling my children over a cliff saying 'Ditch the run, or eat the pasta.  Which is it going to be?  Choose or the kid gets it.'  That's right, folks.  NO ONE makes us choose that.
We can choose to do the run, AND not have the pasta.  And we can chose to keep doing it.

And keep the kids.


What's that funny feeling in my belly?

So for a couple of days I have had an unusual feeling in my belly.
Not nausea.
Not a 'poo belly' as my children like to say.
Not a tummy grumbling.
Not a sick feeling.

And then I realised what it is...


yep, it is that simple.

It has been so long since I haven't been stuffed full of a bowl of pasta the size of my skull or any multitude of portion-disabled deliciousness.
Now that I am actually accountable for every, single morsel that I consume, that there are moments, about 30 minutes or so before I eat, that I realise that I am really looking forward to feeding myself something yummy and appropriately sized.  And even though I am hungry, I eat and I am happy.  Happy because I can feel good about what I have eaten, and how much I have eaten. 

There is no missing out.  There is only choices.  And it makes me happy that I am making good choices.

I am on track for my exercise kms for the week, too.  I have decided not to go too hard on myself for run/walking instead of running every step. I am out there and I am doing it, still going the planned distance. I am moving. Everyday.  And there are times I don't want to but today's mantra was:


So there.

Gee I hope my HRM arrives tomorrow.

Sunday, 12 August 2012

Pre-Season Task #4 - Say It Out Loud

Like many of my 12WBT peers, blogging is my choice to satisfy the requirements for this task.

It's a whole new world for me, although I do love a chat so it's probably best for all that my rambling is confined to here where you can chose or otherwise to listen.

And this is kinda like a journal.  Therapy.  Counselling.  Nice, I do love a bit of talky therapy.

And here I state to you that




I WILL BE ACCOUNTABLE FOR ALL FOOD AND DRINK THAT I CONSUME by keeping track and deciding to stick to a calorie controlled plan.



Pre-SeasonTask #3 - Gear Up

Deciding mostly on the running/ home path, this is not too much of a big deal.

Today,  I ordered a Polar monitor from the link on the 12wbt website. I was going to order a red one, but got all confused and just decided to go with the special white one.  I am very excited and will be watching the postie.

I have an ipod and have already downloaded the preseason podcasts.  Will be listening to them to keep me on track.

I have good runners.  In my study days, I worked at The Athlete's Foot, so I love a nice shoe.

Since I am following the running plan, I don't need a lot in the way of equipment, just my trusty legs.  But I do have a fitball and weights here too, as my husband pretends he does weights at home.

So that's task #3 done.

This is fun

Pre-Season Task #2 - Set Your Goals

Scary, giving yourself permission to imagine a different future.  And to feel as though you deserve it. But I guess that's where working through PST #1 was useful, looking at all those roadblocks and crazy talk.

Either get better or worse...say that at work.

So here they are.  BeccyB's goals for the next 12 months

Overall Goal - lose 10kg.

Now this is interesting because when Ally and I decided to be more accountable, I was 5kg heavier than today.  But 10 more is still needed to be a really healthy weight.

1 Month Goals
Exercise 6 days a week - Plan my exercise sessions before each week begins
Lose 3kg - Follow the meal plan
Increase my running endurance -Follow the exercise plan to increase my running distance
Run in the City2Sea

3 Month Goals
Lose 8kg  - Keep going with the program
Exercise 50km/week - Mix up exercise styles to add distance to the week

6 Month Goals
Be at my goal weight - Continue my efforts with controlling my food intake
Increase my running distance - Work on half marathon training plan,
Look fabulous at my 40th birthday - Buy a beautiful dress and feel great in it at my party
Have a weekend away with my husband

12 Month Goals
Run a half marathon
Maintain weight -  Follow sensible nutrition plan.
Book into more running events
Keep on training.

So there you go.  Keep moving and keep eating sensibly.   Amazing

Saturday, 11 August 2012

Warm Up Challenge #6 and #7

WUC #6 - Track how much you spend on food is a non issue for me.  I am a make it from scratch girl.  Love it.

WUC#7 is Work Your Core and introduces a bit of planking, every day. Doable.  And my core is pretty crap.  I am not certain that I have abs.  It could be a slice of Madeira cake under that skin and boomba for all I know because I have never seen my abs.  Not sure if they are find-able.
But I'll start today. 
Right now. 
Because Michelle said.

Warm Up Challenge #5 - Set yourself a meal schedule

Easy peasy.  I love a list.  REALLY love a list.

Can't tell you how much I love a list.  And I have been meal planning sporadically for a while, financially and organisationally driven.  But this is a no brainer. 



Warm Up Challenge #4 - Write down everything you eat

So this should be easy, right?

My fabulous bestie, in real life is Allie-cat.  And I love her dearly.  We are twins in many ways and have shared many a life changing event.  Allie-cat has recently lost 10kg.  She is super ace, she has been doing the curves thing and using MyFitnessPal, like such a lot of us have too.  And she just kept going.  See her here
We live apart, after many a year living close enough to pop in and love each other dearly.  I will talk more another day about reasons she is a person I love.
As she says in her most recent post, we planned a weekly ring in and weigh in and planned to lose the weight we didn't need.  I was working away with Michelle's cookbooks and Crunch Time book and intermittently using MyFitnessPal (MFP).  Ally was doing curves and MFP.
And off we went.  I lost 3 kg in 10 days.  Ally was dropping weight too.  And then I missed a ring in, and then I was working nightshift.  And then I was away.  But she kept going.  And a couple of weeks ago when I spoke to her she had lost 8kg.  And I didn't know how much I'd lost, or gained, because I had stopped looking.  Like all the other times.  And that's when I realised that I needed to do something.  Drastic.  I needed to DECIDE to keep going.

But Ally kept going and she is still going.  10kg now. And I can't be more thrilled for her.  And she made me see, as she put in  this post, writing down everything you eat is crucial.  It makes the kinda-sorta of  dieting alone seem silly.   I am not a dietitian, nor a scientist.  I need to write it down, or log it on MFP to know how much that serve chomped into my daily limit.  Want a can of coke?  Sure, but that's not going to leave you much left over.  Big mac?  No probs.  But be prepared to not eat for a while. 
Consequences and choices.  Just like a grownup.  Who would have thought?

Pre-season task #1 - Get Real

This challenge is all about identifying the excuses that have been holding you up and contributing towards becoming a fatty boomba.

It has been an interesting process to examine the self talk that makes it ok and consider the ways that can be overcome.  Not just words this time but a genuine exploration of the real stuff going on.

So far, I have come up with ...

I've got too much to do

I work nightshift

I deserve to have a rest

I have no persistence

I can do it on my own

I can't do it on my own, I may as well not try

I've had 4 babies live in my body, I'm meant to be different to how I was before

i can't afford it

i have to do other things

sick kids

work stress

family crisis

I'm sick

I'm tired

It's too hard

It's alright for her, she has/doesn't have .....

Whatever.  What a load of crap.  How is it that an intelligent person, competent at many things, can't just get on with the rocket science of eat less/exercise more?

Because I think that I, like many people have fallen into the trap of thinking that I can live without consequences.  The generation of you can do anything, you can have everything you want.  Well, yeah, but you must pay somewhere.  Sure, eat what you want.  Reward yourself  with food.  That's what got you here.  How's that workin for ya? (thanks Dr Phil)

Not so well.  I don't feel like I can stand proud in my clothes.  I don't feel like the person in the mirror reflects who I believe I am.  But, suck it up IS who you are.  You want to be different?  Start trying to be different.  Really trying.  And sometimes it will be really trying.  Hard.  Know why?  Because you have thought this way for a long time.

So how are you going to change it?

Well, thanks for asking

I will plan plan plan.  Geez I love a list.  (shall post more about that another day)

I will schedule exercise along with other commitments, including work

I know that rest will be more enjoyable after committing to myself.

I will get support from forums, so that I can keep it up.

I will keep going.  I am a healthy capable person.  I can do it.

I will make it a habit to put myself higher on the list

I will spend less on health care, more on health promotion

I can do my other stuff too - I am more efficient when I am looking after myself.

I will think carefully about what I commit my time to.  Does it really help me be the person I want to be?  Is it a good use of my time.

I will remember that  I think clearer when I have exercised

I can still make time in most days, regardless. How much does that problem really need my attention continuously? Less than I think, probably.

And so what about that other person that is bigger/smaller whatever-er than me?  This is about finding my best me.  I look to others for inspiration, not to make myself feel worse.  Get support form people who help me feel better, not people who want to bring me down.

Phew.  That feels better.


Friday, 10 August 2012

More 12WBT warm up challenges

Warm up challenge #2 was to Halve your non-water drink intake.

This has been an achievable one. I'm not much of a boozer, don't drink coffee (I love the smell, but have never had a cup of coffee, don't like it)only the occasional softy and we don't do juice because we have young children and we like it when they think we are REALLY mean because EVERYONE else has juice.

As I mentioned in the post for 12wbt warm up #1, tea is my vice, having had times in my life where my only fluid intake for the day is tea.  Sometimes I have had upwards of 10 cups a day. 

Now that I have capped my tea intake to 5 cups a day (going well btw, and sometimes managing only 4.  Yay me), I have an empty hand waiting for a bevvie.  So water it is, and all of a sudden, my non h2o intake is vastly reduced and h2o intake muchly improved. 

So WUC#2, done.  control that tea,  drink more water.  Problem solvered.

WUC #3 is Set yourself an exercise goal

I had a failed attempt at getting hold of a handmedown HR monitor this week.  I had hoped to avoid buying one but the 12WBT forums talk a lot about how great it is to be able to track that calorie expenditure so I think I shall have to purchase one.  I do love red, so will investigate whether the special Polar offer on the 12WBT page can get me a pretty red one, and jiggle the expenditure to be able to justify a purchase so soon after the expense of signing up to the challenge.

In the meantime, I can commit to an exercise goal.  This week I will run for 20 minutes 4 times and everyday I will do some more incidental exercise. Lets break it down into a plan...

Today - ride bike to shops with Miss L (5yo) to get groceries - 3km
Sunday - 30 min run +/- kids on legs and bikes (currently about 4.5km)
Monday - walk the kids to school and run home.  Then run back and walk them home - 4km run, 4km walk
Tuesday - 12km bike ride with husband. or alone.  whatever. I'm going.
Wednesday - walk/run school run  - 8km total again.
Thursday - 30 minute run
Friday - walk/run to dance classes with Miss L in the day time, then again with the boys, Mr S(7yo) and Mr N(8.5yo) - total 4km
Saturday - 30 minute run
So that's shaping up to be a good effort, that looks like 48.5km to me. 

Nice.  Got to make it happen though.  So planning and commitment are the key.  Keep me honest, friends. And don't be afraid to shove me.

right, that's done...

I have finished my run of nightshift for this fortnight. Big deep sighs are in order.  I work, as I have said, in an Emergency Department as a nurse, and my current roster pattern is to work week on/week off so I have just finished 6 x 10.5 hour nightshift.  Man, sometimes the things we see are better than on Grey's Anatomy.  Of course, it must remain in the cone of silence, but let's just put it out there that alcohol is by far the worst drug available.  It brings customers to my work that make me laugh, and make me sad and angry, that assault their children, partners, friends and strangers, and those that are deeply unconscious and badly injured from what is widely known in the business as PFO - 'pissed and fell over.'

And alcohol can kill you. Easily.

Also, it has heaps of calories.  My friend Michelle likes me to make my own choices and not force me to do anything but what a joyless waste of calories a binge is. 
I have had contact in my personal life with many people that I care about who've had significant problems with alcohol.  Somehow, personality type, wilful determination or good luck has seen me as someone who just isn't that interested in regular alcohol, in spite of the 'rogue Irish gene' and it's tendency towards excessive fondness for alcohol.   I have certainly had some lovely vomit in the gutter 19yo moments, and have been known to have a few more than necessary.

But for the last 6 months or so, I have decided that it's a bit of a dud, and now, I'd currently average about 3 standard drinks a month and I think that is just fine.  It's interesting though how difficult other people find it when you say no to a drink.  Oh well, that's their stuff.

So now that I am a human, rather than a 'worker' for the next week, I can really knuckle down on getting these preseason and warm ups for the 12wbt done. 

Please tolerate my fiddling whilst I get myself better oriented to blog land and play with settings and layout on my blog.  And to those of you following me, thanks for coming and I look forward to all your comments.  And to my 12wbt peers, gee this is an exciting time, on the cusp of big change and working towards being super ready and able to jump into the challenge in just 16 days.  yippee

Tuesday, 7 August 2012

I have a new friend called Michelle

I have told a few people in my real life that I am doing the 12wbt.  I plan to dazzle them with my dramatic change and have them whispering behind their hands as they wonder how beccyb could ever have looked so fabulous.

I have also started talking about my new friend Michelle.  And I refer to her in conversation a lot. 

I work as a Clinical Nurse Specialist in a regional Emergency Department (ED), and I work nightshift only.  It is bizarre to me that I now can say that I actually like nightshift.  As you might imagine, in ED, there are many many busy shifts. We see a lot of very dramatic things and often is is just like it is on TV.  But the nice thing about nightshift in my ED is that, as a general rule, we are nicer to each other.  It is not always the case in health care that the team is kind and supportive towards one another.  I think sometimes the tank is too empty.  We give much of ourselves in our dealings with the sick, and the pseudosick,  the ill and befuddled, and the sad, mad, and the bad.  But on nightshift, with less hangers-on, we get on with it. As a team.  And we care about each other.

So in this context, when it is less busy, we can have a chat.  We chat while we restock, clean and tidy, and we sometimes even get a few minutes to sit and even eat.  When it is busy, we eat on the run.  Often chips, chocolate, dips, biscuits and cheese make an appearance.  Grab it on the run and keep going.

My new friend Michelle doesn't approve. 

Last night, I had a fabulous salad (spinach, pumpkin seeds, tomato, cucumber, dukka and roasted pumpkin) and some delicious broccoli soup.  And it was yum and I felt full.  And virtuous.

And my little friends had chocolate and chippies and coke and lollies.  And because they are lovely, they offered me some.

And because of my new relationship with Michelle, I said 'Thanks anyway, but I don't think Michelle would be happy.'

And when I had one jelly snake, and I checked the nutrition panel (I KNOW, who am I??), I said 'let's not talk about this with Michelle.'  And they understood.  And we had a giggle.  And my lovely work colleagues will support me while they smile with chocolatey teeth.  And bless their little hearts, H even went out the back to the tea room to surreptitiously eat her pizza.
Good people, great nurses and doctors, and caring friends.

Just like my friend Michelle.

12wbt Warm Up Challenge #1 - Make one small change

I can see what Michelle is doing here - commit to one thing and start the journey towards sustaining the changes, rather than changing a whole stack of things that you can't stick to.

And I get it, but I am a restless soul.  I love to move the furniture and pretend I've moved house, I love to go for a drive to feel like I've had a holiday.  I love a bit of change.  But ok, ok, Michelle. Let's just do it.

My one small change is - no more than 5 cups of tea a day.

Is that virtuous enough?  I see lots of 12wbt's who are doing great things that will make a big difference - less chocolate, less soft drink, eating breakfast, more exercise.  Great things. 

For me, A skim milk tea with one flat teaspoon of sugar, is close to nirvana.  Not grungey, self harming, drug abusing Nirvana.  Heaven-y nirvana.  I love it's warm nurturing fabulousness.  I could drink it as my entire liquid intake for the day. 

And I will not stop.  And I will not have gross fake sugar.  The thought of artificial sweetener and all its chemical ickiness ruins the time that me and my tea have together.  And I will not go sugar free.  No I won't.

So I need to accept that my relationship with tea has the potential to ruin my relationship with my goals (more about them later).  A total of about a cup of skim milk and 5 super flat teaspoons of sugar must be counted in my calorie count for the day.  I can have them, but I must pay somehow.  And so they must be counted.  I have calculated that is about 160 cal.  So that is a snack's worth of calories.

Therefore, it must be linked with the parallel change of sucking it up - you want to get healthy and look more fabulous, beccyb?  You will be required to suck some stuff up. Just like a grown up.  And if you don't like it, then get used to avoiding mirrors and liking yourself less.  And plan for a whole stack more difficult sucking up in the future if you don't do it now.

Now is the time.  I don't look morbidly obese.  The change I want is achievable.  I can do it.  And my new best friend Michelle, and all our shared friends will help.

Monday, 6 August 2012

gently gently

It would be clear to you that I am new to blogging. I am not yet sure how to add photos or links or anything fancy.  I have a couple of friends who blog very successfully so I shall check in with them and tizz myself up soon.I also don't know how to add myself to other people's blogs to follow them, nor to see if you are following mine.
I would love it if you could make a comment if you check in at my blog, and I shall reciprocate.  I do love the idea of the 12wbt blog community and when I get bloggy clever, I shall work on checking in with other MB folks. 

I also think it is possible that I might find myself with yet another excuse to focus on something that could waste large amounts of time.  This has been a tendency of mine over time and I will need to manage it carefully and keep focused on the real reason for starting this blog - to chronicle my efforts to improve my health, fitness, and movement towards a healthier weight, and document my 'work' on the 12wbt (oooh, I think I just did something clever and bloggy!!!). 

I also hope to rant on the thinks that occupy my brain space. My current brain wasters are facebook weirdness and derailing situations. 
Now I should say at the outset that I have a way of mangling the English language into all kinds of beccy-isms.  It pleases me to have beccy-isms introduced into the language of others.  It might take some concentration sometimes to stay with me.

It is time to make a start on those preseason and warm up thingos.  Perhaps I'll start another post then I shall be able to find them later...

Sunday, 5 August 2012

big day

The WHOLE of today has been spent at a football carnival, about an hour from home.  We left home at 0730 and got back after 1600. The WHOLE day.  I am about to head off for a pre-sleep - a nap before my first nightshift.  Is is a little odd that the thought of working in a busy Emergency Department is a little more restful than being at home?
Looking forward to doing some work on my challenges during my breaks, and will have a run with the kids tomorrow arvo when I get up. 
Will check in with the next installment tomorrow.

Saturday, 4 August 2012


So one of the main reasons for starting this blog is to journal my efforts for the Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation (known from here on as 12wbt, and Michelle will be known as MB). I have done little over the last 5 years to stop the upward movement of the scales and have come to acknowledge that I weigh  more than I am happy with.
A couple of months ago, I bought a MB cookbook, the Crunch time cookbook, and borrowed the Crunch time book from the library.  I proceeded to lose 3 kg very quickly by following a vague plan to eat less, count calories and exercise more without spending the money to join the 12wbt.  Then, after others noticed the beginnings of my change and payed up  and joined 12wbt, I, like many times before, lost interest and was entirely inconsistent with both food and exercise and  noticed no further weight loss.
Last week, however, I realised that $200 was a very small price to pay for a plan that appears to work.  I had been lurking around the 12wbt Facebook page and seeing many success stories and weekly weigh-in updates and decided that I was going to join up and change direction.
So here we are.  Tomorrow, I will blog about the preseason steps I have taken so far, and start working through the warm up tasks too. And I will be honest.  With myself, for the first time in a while.
Right now, however, it is time to kick my husband snoring away his golfing blues and go to bed.

once upon a time...

Well, I have resisted blogging for some time, despite being a woman of many, many words.  However, having recently begun a journey of deliberate change, and having sworn off Facebook (both long stories for another time), I decided that a blog would be a good outlet for my diarising and my word overload.
I plan to discuss my random tangential musings, and chronicle my journey towards 40, including my efforts to lose 10kg and discover a new self in the complex world of wife, mother, sister, nurse and friend.  I will also prattle on about my second City2Sea run, and my fundraising for the McGrath Foundation as I do it.